The Warcraft grunt’s “Stop poking me!” is a classic, but it’s hard to go past some of the things units in Company of Heroes come out with (opens in new tab) if you click on them too much. The Age of Empires and Command & Conquer series had plenty of memorable quotes too, and it’s worth trying to select enemy troops in Total War games just to hear them insult you.
What’s your favorite thing a unit in a strategy game says when you click on them?
Here are our answers, plus some from our forum.
Robin Valentine, Print Editor: Honestly, how can you beat the classic ‘Zug zug’? Warcraft 3 is definitely still the gold standard when it comes to clicking on units. I remember being blown away when I discovered that, after enough prods, each unit would spout its own unique joke lines. Now that’s world-building.
Wes Fenlon, Senior Editor: I could name so many I love: Starcraft’s “In the pipe” homage to Aliens, Warcraft 2’s “ready to work” and that pig sound effect (opens in new tab) I swear to god I hear in every movie with pigs in it. But in the end, there can be only one. The bravado of Command & Conquer’s commando knows no equal.
There’s no better throwaway line read in all of RTS history than “That was left-handed.” He sounds like Guy Fieri casually flipping a burger with his off hand while holding a cigar in the other. It’s even better when the commando follows up his next kill with a hearty chuckle and a “You got it.” Sublime.
Rich Stanton, News Editor: I was obsessed with Starcraft 2 for several years or, more specifically, I was obsessed with building giant marine armies as Terran and then shooting lots of Zerg and Protoss. God I love those grumpy little guys, and when you select them they say a range of things including, most often, “You want a piece of me, boy?”
I also adore the insolence you get from them: “this better be good” or “you gonna give me orders?” Then the tragic moments where, with your eyes elsewhere on the map, an enemy swarm descends on a small detachment and your radio crackles with a tough guy’s panicked yell of “we could use some help here” which, sadly, will never arrive. I’ll always hold a candle for those brave Terran boys. Now let’s build some more.
Sean Martin, Guides Writer: Total War has some absolutely standout voicelines, from Scottish captains in Medieval 2 saying “I’ll rip off yer head and spit down yer neck!” to Shogun 2’s “shameful display!” But despite that, I think it’s hard to beat the classic priest “Wololo” from Age of Empires; hearing it immediately transports me back to that game/time.
Jody Macgregor, Weekend/AU Editor: Warcraft’s orcs are funny and all, but they’e just a rip-off of Warhammer’s version. Both visually (the green skin and tusks), and vocally. Anyway, the best videogame version of them is probably the slugga boys from Dawn of War, who have three different barks where they just shout variations on WAAAAAGH! (opens in new tab)
JarlBSoD: Work work.
Dungeon Keeper: I thought Dungeon Keeper had some funny ones, but after looking into it I don’t think your units actually say anything, it’s just the mentor’s voice that’s funny.
Brian Boru: Nice n crispy—Telsa trooper, Red Alert 1 Aftermath
Why don’t you drive?—Libya Demolition truck, Red Alert 2
Thank you for the new shoes—Worker, Generals Zero Hour
Lutfij: Ka-boom! – Crazy Ivan, Red Alert 2
Frindis: “Go back to the main menu and try out the tutorial” – Company of Heroes
ZedClampet: In Total War Warhammer 3, there are a lot of good ones, but my favorite is one of the Tzeentch generals who seems to have been voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. He’s extremely enthusiastic. A lot of times when you click on him he just yells, “It’s meeee!” which for some reason cheers me up.
After you win the game, you get Be’lakor, the perpetually angry and gruff antagonist as a general. If you are in the Kislev area where it’s snowy, he will say (with no small amount of disgust) “So many snowflakes.” Reminds me of your typical Internet discussion and cracks me up. At least he doesn’t call you a “beta” if you ask him to retreat.
Zloth: The fun quotes in Sacrifice come if you select a unit, then just sit there and think. They’ll start taunting you into moving. An earthfling (which, as you might guess, throws rocks at enemies) will eventually say “Yeah, got mud on your face.” then “You big disgrace!” then “I will ROCK you!”
McStabStab: Starcraft Zealot: “My life for Aiur” is always the #1 in my book.